FollowI’m a couple days late with blog. “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.” Michael Corleone said that in beginning of ‘Godfather III.’ Did you ever watch a movie, hear a line and wonder if it would ever apply to you? In December, I was outlining my second novel when a call came from an Ohio friend of my Texas cousin. Two minutes into the call, I exclaimed, “I’m in.” Back in sales again. Home on the Range. Where the Deer and the Antelope Play. A lot of deer hang out in my central Jersey suburban sprawl town. When I moved here twenty years ago, there was a small farm with barn and horse less than a mile away. Now twenty homes (over a $ million apiece) replaced the grazing of the horse. And the deer scamper through my backyard. A few patches of trees and grass are left around town for the deer to call home on the range. There’s a deer carcass on the road every month or so. No souls, from our teacher hating governor on down, care about deer. Dear me. Intellectually, weren’t their species here before us in Jersey? So were Native-Americans. So the blog is a little late. Looking at the title of blog, subtle as it is, there’s a theme. Writing this (7:50am) I’m spooning ‘Red Velvet Cake’ Yogurt; the only time I like spoon-feeding; early morning solitude. Greek yogurt is the healthiest; considered a fat fighter because it contains twice the amount of protein and therefore hangs around the stomach longer. A few minutes ago, I just read Dolphins(not Miami) have been declared the world’s second most intelligent creatures after humans, with scientists suggesting they are so bright that they should be treated as “non-human persons.” However we humans may (will) be surpassed (intelligence) by year 2045 by little old computers. Go pick up next week’s Time magazine with 2045 on the cover. I’ve got my intelligent sources. Of course if that happens, Dolphins get knocked down to third place.
Dissection time. The title line. ‘Commerce Shill.’ It could also read ‘commercial.’ However shill means (slang) someone is planted in the crowd to urge others to buy something, like a confidence trickster’s assistant. Commercial? (Hmmm). Leaving a convenience store yesterday, I saw an ad pix for two pretzels laden with copious salt, “one for each hand.” Salt does kill. Movie popcorn is loaded with salt to make you thirsty for an $8 soda. The feds recently, quietly, without much ado on national or New York news coverage or even a marching band, told us to cut back salt even more. Do they know something? I love all the coverage on Lindsay Lohan(now she’s shoplifting and her white dress just sold out on line) Quite frankly my deer, I’d love to know what’s going on in the Gulf after the spill; how the pelicans and people are faring not Lindsay Lohan; shame on that someone who makes news coverage decisions. Yesterday morning, on television, I saw a commercial for express (2 hours) whitening strips for the teeth. Technology is wonderful; getting strips to work in two hours instead of two weeks. I saw pix ads for Vuitton, Armani, Dior and Burberry pocketbooks in a magazine, all within a few pages of each other (full page expensive ads too). I thought about Monmouth County deer when I saw the ads. How strange. In almost every print ad(for anything), someone always wears sunglasses (a piece of plastic or metal with a lens that blocks out 100% UV light and if dark enough, allows you look at anyone without their knowing you’re looking at them) And the deer and the antelope play. New Jersey recently had a bear kill, sanctioning a few days when hunters could kill just one and decrease bear surface population. Scrooge liked to do that with people.
a meaningful cerebral 'commercial'
Food, munchies and beer for all the Super Bowl parties cost Americans a cool $10 Billion (not counting all the commercials promoting). Did I read it’s the amount needed to put a dent in the world’s impending water crisis? And speaking of the Super Bowl, I was revolted and angered but not surprised that Jerry Jones(owner of Cowboys stadium; who’s only concern was setting a bowl attendance record) and the NFL(commissioner Roger G.) knew a week before hand that seats would not be ready for 400 people(they had years to get ready); so to hell with those people and it’s too bad their poor dreams were shattered and they spent all that money to get to Texas). I loved camera shots of half empty luxury boxes and celebrities feeding each other popcorn. I thought this seat episode was one of the most despicable things I’ve heard in a long time. It’s all about money and power. Funny; the NY Jets’ office calls me all the time to see when I want to buy season tickets. Now it’s never. I’ll stick to Rutgers football and the purity of college sport and keeping my distance from the likes of ‘Roger Jones’ (a new character who doesn’t care about the sanctity of human beings).
Did a public official recently say there’s too much money in illegal drugs to stop it? Diet Soda commercials are all over the place. Science is now saying that drinking diet soda voluminously (great word?) can cause a 61% increase in the chances of having a vascular accident (a stroke). Strokes are rising dramatically among young and middle-aged Americans while dropping in older people, a sign that the obesity epidemic may be starting to shift the age burden of the disease My son is 25 and I can’t remember the last time he exercised; over a year ago? A bit of a paradox with diet soda and strokes (the Super Bowl was filled with diet soda ads. A few years back a little girl got sucked into a soda bottle). Funny thing happened on the way to the forum. I stopped drinking diet soda all by myself three years ago; switched to seltzer and wait for sale ads for $4 a case.
diet soda
Maybe there should be more ads and commercials for sleep products and Melatonin supplements. New research from Warwick Medical School published recently in the European Heart Journal shows that prolonged sleep deprivation and disrupted sleep patterns can have long-term, serious health implications. Leading academics from the University have linked lack of sleep to strokes, heart attacks and cardiovascular disorders which often result in early death. Professor Francesco Cappuccio from the University of Warwick Medical School, explained: “If you sleep less than six hours per night and have disturbed sleep you stand a 48 per cent greater chance of developing or dying from heart disease and a 15 per cent greater chance of developing or dying of a stroke.
On a happier note, because I’m basically a happy guy, the world’s happiest countries are as follows. Norway(2nd highest rated country in health care and plenty of oil and gas reserves. 74% say people can be trusted. America has ‘Roger Jones’ and NFL and 400 people without Super Bowl seats) Denmark is in 2nd place (highest standard of living in world. No ‘Roger Jones’ there) Finland is in 3rd place (highest redistribution of wealth and yes, no ‘Roger Jones’ there either) Australia is 4th and they really trust their government. Finally New Zealand is 5th (first in Education. I’m sure they don’t have a governor who hates teachers) By the way the United States is 10th, not bad. Speaking of happy and love, Princeton University has great alumni. 60.3% of them give back to their University. More happy: Did you know that Ecuador’s people, with 75% approving, agreed to bar drilling in huge rainforest, forgoing $7.2 billion in oil $$ revenue. However my happiness at this junction is a bit tempered. Rep. Patrick McHenry (R., N.C.), chairman of a House Oversight subcommittee, warned about a lack of transparency for public pension plans and said Congress must understand the magnitude of the public pension “problem.” Are we heading down another road of massive government bailouts or states declaring bankruptcy when public pensions come due? And the deer and the antelope play.
More Lists. Somebody out there(Men’s Health) in television land (remember good old Howdy Doody, Buffalo Bob and Donna Reed) compiled a list of the Ten Best and Ten Worst Cities for Men based on 37 criteria(man killers, heart disease, cancer, ratio of single men to women etc). Ready for the whip ride? 1. Madison, Wisconsin(2nd lowest death rate of strokes and a high proportion of doctors. Notice I’ve talked about strokes above) 2. Fargo, N.D. 3. Plano, Texas(finished 1st in weight training) 4. Burlington, Vermont( a very friendly supportive place; people care?!) 9. Virginia Beach, VA( people live close to farmer’s market; fresh produce) 99th Philadelphia, PA(next to last) 100th. St. Louis, MO(last). Finally, streaming our past, a prehistoric cemetery reveals Man and Fox were pals before dogs were our best friends. Ah, best friends. People who care; ‘Roger Jones’ my new character from the Super Bowl, is certainly no one’s best friend. I think Roger said, “Greed is good.” Or was it Gordon Gekko? “What’s the difference” as Otter said in ‘Animal House.’ I have my own list; where to set up my cabin at the Jersey shore to meditate, write and commune. Belmar would be good but there’s isn’t a vacant foot of land. Love Ladies is expensive and on stilts. Sandy Hook is semi-deserted and reminds me of the movie ‘Shutter Island’. So I’m scared. And the deer and the antelope play.
Entertainment talk. Saw ‘South Pacific’ two weeks ago in Newark at PAC; wondrous night, place, venue, music, lyrics and staging. I love Newark. Also love ‘Midnight Cowboy‘ and 1969 movies (last week’s blog) When I couldn’t convince my son to exercise, we bargained and I persuaded him to watch ‘Midnight Cowboy.’ Why a multi-decade fascination with a social commentary movie? Because I identify, feel, sense and worry that I’ll wind up homeless in cold callous Manhattan with no one to care about me because the world really doesn’t care about anything except teeth whitening and setting attendance records at Super Bowls. I am Ratso Rizzo (he didn’t like to be called ‘Ratso’) and once, crossing a street in Manhattan, a car came to close to me, I yelled semi-softly, “I’m walking here.” For Dustin Hoffman’s character, it was a hostile world (for deer and bears in suburban Jersey and Super Bowl ticket holders too) until Joe Buck(Jon Voight) arrives from Texas and each find their first real friend. Nilsson’s song ‘Everybody’s Talkin’ rips gut. Ratso’s dream is unfulfilled and ends in the back of a bus (in the ‘Graduate’ Dustin Hoffman is in back of a bus too) Nobody cared about Ratso. I try. When I’m in the city, there’s always a panhandler without a leg, so I drop a dollar into a cup. And I’ll never buy teeth whitener.
Housekeeping: Next Friday February 18th from 2 to 3pm, I’m scheduled to appear on the Colin Lively Radio Show via the Internet. If you can’t make it live, check the archives. My gig: extending life.
http://herewomentalkradio.com/home/show_details/60
The Colin Lively Show
Live Friday 2:00 – 3:00 pm pm Eastern, 11 am – 12 noon Pacific
Call (914) 338-1186
Join Colin Lively, hairdresser to the stars and socialites, and a different beauty expert each week as they take you through makeovers, nip, tuck, injections, permanent makeup, exercise tips and everything you ever wanted to know to look youthful and feel rejuvenated. Colin, a well-connected and totally cool urbanite in New York City, brings into the studio top health coaches, plastic surgeons, makeup artists, and world-renowned aestheticians to answer all your questions about the latest and greatest in cosmetic procedures. The lines will be open for Colin and his guests to answer your calls and guide you to looking your best.
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