Dentists? But what’s a ‘dentite?’ Yesterday, I had intense, futuristic dental surgery, implanting sinus- bone artificial flowers and waiting nine months to see if it grows. “It’s alive,” the Baron said. A unique computation: three percent of my earth time has been spent sitting in ‘dentite’ chairs. Moments ago, I checked ‘Urban Dictionary’ for ‘dentite.’ Not there, nada, doesn’t exist. The opposite, ‘anti-dentite,’ from ‘Seinfeld’ means, “someone who doesn’t like dentists.” I do. I do. Some of my best tennis partners are dentists; no wonder why; great eye-hand co-ordination.
When I was eight, my first tooth extraction was followed by regurgitation in the dentist’s face. My mother, embarrassed, was told to rinse my mouth with peroxide and teach me manners. At home, my father held me while mother tried forcing a clear malodorous liquid. I kicked, screamed; they knew not why. Peroxide is colorless, odorless. My protestations resulted in turning the peroxide bottle around to find it was really carbon tetrachloride, a poisonous cleaning fluid which could’ve put me in Forest Lawn; perhaps my second encounter with a saving spirit. When I was a little taller, my next dentist tried to get me a basketball scholarship at Rutgers University. (Dr. Jack G.) And then, when I stopped growing, I married a dentist’s daughter. I can’t seem to recall if there’s a book called, ‘The Dentist’s Daughter.’ I like the title; perhaps?
A year later, my father-in-law dentist arranged for me to get orthodontic appliances three days before a physical. Proudly I hailed and wore the necessary braces until two weeks after my divorce, when it became perfectly clear, that I wasn’t the dentist’s son-in-law and I was fair game to be charged for three years of here-to-fore free service.
So one rainy Monday afternoon, I found a pair of rusty pliers, scoffed down a million units of penicillin (Prophylactic move) and proceeded to pull-out one quadrant of braces every month, to the horror of my young sisters. It was messy, they cried, but I got them off in four months free of charge. A funny thing happened 38 years later (last September); I had braces put on again to the delight of the pediatric patients who thought I was either someone’s grandfather or a planted aberration, extolling joys of the appliances. One of my recurring blog themes is living to 150 years. Periodontal cleaning and hygiene is an essential tool to that goal. Gum disease is linked to heart disease; something about oral bacteria messing around with blood vessels and allowing plaque to build. Strangely and perhaps masochistically, I love the feeling of a deep probe four times a year attacking gum and teeth plaque. After my last cleaning, I thought about doing a shrink’s couch for analysis why I love the pain of periodontal cleaning.
I can’t remember when I actually fell in love with the ostrich; maybe when I became a regional sales manager years ago; I thought this large flightless bird native to Africa could serve me as tongue and cheek example how to deal with problems. Now, if I was a betting soul and I’m not (I dislike gambling mostly because I never win), I’d bet the candy store that most of you readers believe the ostrich deals with problems by sticking their head in the sand. I did. I preached to my world; be an ostrich; the good news when you take your head out of the sand; the problem will be there or not. I love fifty-fifty odds. Well, contrary to a life time of thinking that bird, who can run forty miles per hour to escape guys like me, sticks head in the sand; it simply is a myth probably started by Gaius Secundus (Pliny), a Roman author, naturalist and philosopher. Now the plot thickens. My friend Ruth from Seattle, a pretty gosh darn good psychic, told me several times, that way back, I was Roman, probably a warrior.
I’d like to think I was a naturalist philosopher at the court of Mel Brooks (History of the World: Part I) or Julius Caesar himself. Needless to say, the ostrich is critically endangered. It’s worth saying again that by the end of this century, fully half of earth’s animal species will be gone forever unless we tip-toe into ‘Jurassic Park.’ In South Carolina, as we speak, a scientist is growing meat (hold the hooves and tail) in a test tube. I’d still miss the ostrich and the other half-million species.
This stream of consciousness absurdity dissertation on the ostrich was meant as a metaphor of sorts how we stick our heads in the sand. Ask my cousin in Texas with thirty straight days over 100 degrees if global warming is a myth; heads should roll rather than be in sand. The Kyoto protocol (greenhouse emissions) is in sand. Somalia(subliminal).
Last week I watched the movie, ‘Secretariat.’ As mentioned above, I don’t like gambling, so no horse racing for me. I never thought about what happens to these wondrous animals after racing for us. Secretariat sired 600 foals but how many proletariat ex-race horses wind up in a Mexican food processing plant? ‘TROTT’ in California is a non-profit entity dedicated to providing retiring racehorses with opportunities for new careers after racing. Through rehabilitation and retraining, they make sure each horse donated to TROTT has the chance to learn new skills necessary for life in a non-racing home; heads not in sand.
http://www.trottusa.org/index.html
Solar energy is a head in sand deal. 10,000 times more sunlight is hanging around than we use. The feds recently came up with new diet guidelines involving more vegetables; but head in sand; additional cost of $400 more per year to adhere is not affordable for a lot of Americans. Is the FDA’s head in sand? Lipitor (statin drug for cholesterol) is so widely used it takes in $11 billion and people joke that one day it’ll be put into our water supply like fluoride. But good old Pfizer, the manufacturer, is losing their patent and lots of money; now they’ve got their heads out of sand by proposing to take the drug over-the-counter and still rake in money. Bad idea I think. You’ve got to be monitored regularly for liver function, lots of side effects and what about patient compliance with a drug sold on shelves next to ear plugs, support stockings and lubricants (ocular). And Pfizer was the ‘Avandia’ company; the diabetes drug that caused heart attacks which someone forgot to mention. Well, it’s comforting to know Pfizer is consistently, whatever. Hey, 82% of Americans said congress is doing a bad job; head out of the sand but America ranks 70th in the world for women in national legislature; back to the sand. A political leader that gives not takes; Mayor Bloomberg recently personally donated $30 million to the Young Men Initiative to overhaul probation, training and mentoring of young minority men in New York.
JUST IN: Scientists are reporting the first clear success with a new approach for treating leukemia; they’re turning a patient’s own blood cells into assassins that hunt and destroy their cancer cells. They’ve only done it in three patients so far, but the results were striking: Two appear cancer-free up to a year after treatment, and the third patient is improved but still has some cancer. Scientists are already preparing to try the same gene therapy technique for other kinds of cancer. Wow!! This is just the kind of news that gets us to 150 years. That’s all folks with sandy ostriches.
Time for integration of my new writing responsibilities into blog: Through magic, ten days ago, I became associated with OUR TOWN/Bar Fly Newspapers/Publications. Yours truly is now a columnist/reporter covering all of Monmouth County; events, music, arts, theatre and people. Funny thing: I do it anyway, always running, exploring, absorbing and listening.
My first few hours: Last Saturday, by a lake in a park, I saw amazing singer Linda Chorney with Ritchie Blackwell accompanying and the Nick Clemons Band sing. Nick is the talented son of the late immortal Clarence Clemons. I pinched myself. Later: I found a special painting by Michael McCrink in the Monmouth Beach cultural center that I got stuck in; couldn’t get out for a small eternity. I didn’t want to get out. Kind of like Alice’s rabbit hole in wonderland.
Later: I reviewed the movie “7 Years Underground; A 60’s Tale” about Cafe Au Go Go in Greenwich Village during the 60’s. Hey, I really made it back to the 60’s for 87 minutes. Later: I talked to a couple of real surfers with surf boards. I’ll never be bored now. Oh and Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Lenny Bruce and the whole musical world passed through the Cafe Au Go Go. When I see Janis, I think “Me and Bobbie McGee.”
“Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose,
Nothing don’t mean nothing honey if it ain’t free, now now.”
Janis Joplin you tube video Me and Bobby McGee
Last Wednesday, I went to see Ray Kurzweil (Transcendent Man) and Dr. Michio Kaku (Physics of the Future) and a tour de force of intellect talk live about the future on a big theatre screen. A friend in Wisconsin drove three hours one way to see the same lecture. I love living in the most densely populated state. Everything is thirty minutes away.
And I love repeatedly shoving things into my head. A few minutes ago a new Facebook friend talked about aging and how the mind takes over in a negative way. Every birthday is a nail in the coffin for him. As long as I keep playing beer pong, doing keg stands, running all over and biking nowhere for 90 minutes a day(stationary bike), I’m not going anywhere(not aging). Funny: at the lecture on Wednesday (and I’m saving you two hours) the most important thing I gleaned; If we can all make it through the next fifteen years with most things working, technology will be all grown-up and will allow us to get to the magic 150 years and beyond. I tend to get a little piggy with that notion. I’d want to make sure I still ‘can’ and ‘enjoy’ or why bother, if you get my drift. I just thought of something else. I remember, since becoming a writer and blogger (serious responsibility) spending only just a few fleeting moments with my head in the sand (and definitely not up anywhere else). Have a nice day.
CONTACT INFO:
website: http://vichywater.net
Twitter: Earthood
Book Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qj2ko9gcC_M