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Back in 1967 ‘Valley of the Dolls’ came to neighborhood movie theatres; a few years before (for those that remember) movies had double features, newsreels (what’s that?) and cartoons. Double features disappeared like our vestigial tail after we emerged from the ocean. Reasons for double feature disappearance; people lost interest and didn’t want to sit for so long. Funny thing about evolution, hair spray and Atlantic Blue Fin Tuna; today with commercials, public service announcements, coming attractions and miscellany, we’re back to sitting through an equivalent double feature.

 I miss Abbott and Costello, Boris Karloff and Maria Ouspenskaya(she played Maleva, the old woman in 1941 ‘Wolfman’) Can you believe I’m still upset that Larry Talbot(Lon Chaney Jr.) got bitten and smitten; I’ll never buy a cane with a wolf head on it. A decade back I needed a cane for two days after knee surgery and still use it when I leave on a jet plane and need bulkhead seats (which they reserve for the needy) Well I am ‘kneedy’ at 6′ 5″. Ten years ago I pretended to limp around Newark Airport with my cane and at the gate asked for bulkhead. A long airline agent pause, glaring stare; I felt a bit guilty and self-conscious; a tennis racket was in my left hand.

So why ‘Valley of the Dolls’ in the title?  Symbolism of the ups and downs of life on earth. The title song by Dionne Warwick reduces me. The YouTube link for song:    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xKkSSKmjbk

Here’s a verse from song:

“Gotta get off, gonna get
Out of this merry-go-round
Gotta get off, gonna get
Need to get on where I’m bound”

Feels like my head is spinning in a red Sedona valley. Maybe it’s 1967. Elvis married Priscilla. Six Day War erupted. Great multi-purpose room at Rutgers Pharmacy School was crowded at lunchtime. Two tuna fish sandwiches in a brown bag were opened next to an oasis of recreation: a ping pong table. A couple of seniors just got back from downtown Newark. I overheard them talking about almost getting (marijuana) high last night. I laughed or was it sulking or fear about another war.  I was still a few years away from my only (true and I’m not ever running for office) pot inhalation attempt. Some kids in school passed dexedrine around before exams; the ‘up doll’ manufacturer used to promote the drug as a diet aid; good for students and truck drivers if you had to stay awake for months.  Did I hear that the writer of ‘A Clockwork Orange’ thought he was dying and wrote the novel while high on amphetamines for six months straight, thinking it’s his last chance to write? 

 In February, 1967, thirteen helicopters were shot down in one day in Vietnam; I was mortified about that. And I’m thinking now about Egypt, Libya, Bahrain and the earthquake in New Zealand. The Beatles released ‘Strawberry Fields.’ And I frequently think about getting to ‘where I’m bound.’ I was petrified and confused about Vietnam as I am now about the Middle East and the quest for freedom/peace. And sure, we all worry about gas going to $5.00 a gallon. Hey, if gas goes up 30 cents a gallon, America has to spend $120 million more a day to drive around. In February 1967, 19 people from Mississippi were indicted for the murder of three civil rights workers, Goodman, Chaney and Schwerner. My mood then was up and down like dolls in the movie. “Gotta get out of this merry-go-round.” Just when I thought about taking a deep breath, I heard about a former judge in Pennsylvania (Mark Ciavarella) convicted last Friday of racketeering in a $2.8 million “kids for cash” plot to send youth offenders to ‘for-profit’ detention centers. Imagine a judge sentencing a young teenager, who was about to get a wrestling scholarship, but committed a minor infraction worthy of a just a lecture. However the judge puts the kid away for 6 months and ruins his life while getting a kickback from the detention center for sending the kid there. The kid killed himself a few years later. And if the judge doesn’t get the full 157 year sentence, then “there’s something really wrong here ” (from movie “And Justice For All” with Al Pacino) Here’s the YouTube video of his mother confronting that judge and NBC coverage.

“Gonna get out of this merry-go-round” In March 1967 President Johnson announced a draft lottery. My head was in the valley of the dolls back then and I feared no evil but I didn’t trust the Texan. Still in the valley:  Fifty million “environmental refugees” will flood into the global north by 2020, fleeing food shortages sparked by climate change, experts warned at a major science conference that ended Monday.

Speaking of my head; use of a cell phone for as little as 50 minutes at a time appears to affect brain glucose metabolism in the region closest to the phone’s antenna, a new study shows. But the cell phone danger is not a main problem if cell phone’s get knocked out. I just finished listening to Dr. Paul La Violette(an astro-physicist)(while I ingested a  package of broccoli rabe) talk about a ‘superwave’ of radiation, energy and gravity which will hit the earth and mess around with New Jersey, the Jersey shore and Bavaria. This wave could knock out satellites, interrupt radio, TV, and telephone communication, produce electrical surges on power lines causing widespread black outs, and possibly trigger the inadvertent launching of missiles. A gastronomical urge just arose. I need to fight it off. No wine. No smokes. Maybe a dozen obscene chocolate cream filled donuts. Once, a long time ago (Carter was President) I worked in Princeton as a Pharmacist and lived in Brooklyn. My wife asked me to bring home a dozen donuts for company. There was a gas shortage (hint). I waited hours for a gas fill-up. There was traffic and a three hour drive. I did the contingency thing; bought three dozen donuts just in case of a long trip. I arrived in Brooklyn with a half-dozen left and I’m not even diabetic now because I exercise 90 minutes a day. Love long telomeres.

 Its celery time folks! Celery has no protective skin, which makes it almost impossible to wash off the chemicals that are used on conventional crops; a perennial entrant on the Dirty Dozen list; 64 pesticides are detected in residue on this veggie and make celery rank No. 1 as the dirtiest. But we love it dipped in blue cheese dressing along side that animal product.

List time; the smartest states. A few years ago Jersey was ranked second smartest (percentage of students going to higher education.) But streaming back to September, 1967 again. Jim Morrison appeared on the Ed Sullivan show to sing ‘Light My Fire.’ The network told him not to use ‘higher’.  CBS network censors demanded that Jim Morrison change the lyrics to the song by altering the line, “Girl, we couldn’t get much higher”, before the band performed the song live. The lyric was to have been changed to, “Girl, we couldn’t get much better”. However, Morrison sang the original line, and on live television with no delay, CBS was powerless to stop it. A furious Sullivan refused to shake the band members’ hands and they were never invited back to the show. This smartest state list takes into account percent of residents with advanced degrees and some college) #1 Massachusetts( governor knows value of education) #2 Maryland  #3 Colorado (skiing & hiking) #4 Connecticut (many community colleges) #5 Vermont (home grown everything) #6 New Hampshire(‘live free or die.’ do it yourself culture) #7 Virginia (graduates more than 500,000 students a year) #8 Minnesota(lots of Fortune 500 companies) #9 Washington(more than coffee, air planes & software) #10 NEW JERSEY (the Jersey Shore gang are smart all their way to the bank and 15 of world’s 25 largest pharmaceutical companies are here with me in Jersey. It’s been said you can smell car exhaust and tranquilizers in the air every morning as you calmly drive the Jersey turnpike or parkway)

 It’s my head again; back in the valley. Hours of news programs today were devoted to Charlie Sheen. News programmers; please go back to the Gulf and tell me what’s going on or find a way to sneak a reliable camera into Libya. This amazing picture of an Egyptian holding up a sign (above) offering support to embattled Wisconsin teachers was absolutely real. CNN actually found that brave Egyptian and interviewed him. Academy Awards on Sunday. Stop. Can you tell me who won last year? 1967. ‘In The Heat of the Night’ won best picture. “I’m a police officer.” One of my favorite lines. I really feel valley. And it’s accelerating fast. Up and down every day looking for a reason to believe.  And I’m on this island Earth all by myself. Tim Hardin wrote this folk song, “Reason to Believe” two years before 1967.  Rod Stewart also sang it. A verse to share. And goodnight Mrs. Calabash.

“If I gave you time to change my mind
I’d find a way to leave the past behind
Knowing that you lied straight faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe
Still I look to find a reason to believe
Still I look to find a reason to believe”

 Please share this blog if you like or don’t like and if there’s a reason to believe.

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